How am I supposed to live when I miss you so much
by loreenel
Summary: It wasn't supposed to end this way. They were supposed to be together forever. But now, she was gone and he was left with nothing but a sweet melody. AU


Just a little something I wrote today. I was inspired to write this after listening to « Gone » by Jin, all day.

"It wasn't supposed to end this way. They were supposed to be together forever. But now, she was gone and he was left with nothing but a sweet melody." AU

* * *

When they first met, she was eighteen and he was twenty. He was a famous singer and she was just a volunteer. When his manager told him that he would visit hospitals this day, he didn't expect to meet the girl of his dream. She was everything he wanted, everything he needed. He didn't believe in love at first sight before her, he didn't even know he could find love. And yet, he loved her. Oh, how much he loved her.

She immediatly saw right through his fake hapiness. Of course what he was doing was amazing, but she saw his pained eyes. So he told her everything. How he lost his little brother in a fire years ago, how he still can't accept his death. In return, she told him that she was an orphan with no family. They were two broken souls, but maybe, just maybe, they could heal each others.

Everydays after that, they would spend hours on the phone. Sadly, he coudn't always be there because of his job. But he took every chances he had to go see her. They would meet near the lake, because it was a nice and peaceful place. He would sing for her, and she would smile so sweetly that his heart would hurt.

He still remember the first time she said she loved him.

It was a late afternoon, she insisted on being here because she wanted to see the sunset. It was so beautiful, she said. It is, he replied. But he was not watching the scenery. He was watching her. He loved how her eyes sparkled with to the sun.

They stayed silent for minutes and when the sun disappeared completly, she turned to him. She was smiling and she just said « I love you » like it was the easiest thing in the world, whereas he spent everyday since he met her trying to find a way to tell her. But maybe it was that easy, because he heard himself say these three little words back. He never felt so happy. She was healing his heart, and he just loved her. Oh, how much he loved her.

Months after, things became complicated. She learned that she was ill and sadly, she didn't have much longer. Maybe a month, two at the most, the doctor said. She was glad that he was away for a few days, because she spent two days crying. She coudn't tell him. It would break him like it just broke her. So when he came back home a week later, she welcomed him with a smile and a kiss and they spent the entire night cuddling. He felt that something was wrong, but he put that on the fact that since he is on tour, they can't see each other much. Oh, if only he had known.

He learned the dreadful news a few days before the end. After a interview, he received a call from the doctor saying that she fainted. He never drove this fast in his life.

At that moment, too many thoughts and emotions were fighting in his mind, and he just felt empty at the end. But one look on his beautiful girl lying on the bed, and the tears were streaming so hard. Why ?

When she woke up, he was sitting next to her. He looked miserable and she was sure she looked the same. Oh, they were so happy. He wanted to say something, anything, but couldn't find the words.

« _You will stay with me, right ?_ »

Her voice was so weak he felt like crying again. Instead, he took one of her hands. He would never leave her.

They spent the next few days together, never leaving each other side. She was so weak physically, he helped her with everything, carrying her softly when she had to move, showering with her, cooking for her, reading her favorite books so she could sleep. He would spend the night just holding her and crying silently, remembering that every night could be the last one. His heart would ache every time a little more. Oh, how much he loved her.

When her heart finally stopped, he is pretty sure his stopped too. She made him promise to keep living for her, but he died with ther.

That night, when he went home, he threw everything he saw. His house, _their_ house, looked devasted. And when his anger went down, he took the cd. She said she wanted him to listen to it, _after_. When he played it, a nice yet sad melody came to his ears and he was crying again. He knew what she was saying trough the piano, _I'm so sorry, I love you_.

* * *

It is her anniversary today. He can't believe it's been a year already. He is there, near the lake, watching the sunset. When the sun touch his skin, he knows she's here with him. « _I love you._ » He can hear her. He doesn't open his eyes and smile. He may be crying right now, but he smile for her. « _I love you._ » He replied. And he is sure he sensed her kiss his forehead.

When the sun disappear, her presence fade too. And his heart breaks again.

She was his dream. And he loved her. Oh, how much he loved her. And it wasn't supposed to end this way. They were supposed to be together forever. But now, she was gone and he was left with nothing but a sweet melody.

* * *

Even though I like it overall, there are several parts that I don't really like. I feel like I could've done better but oh well, I wrote it pretty quickly. Oh and english is not my first language, so sorry if there are mistakes.


End file.
